A Broad In France: Spring Break-Blood, Sand, and cupcakes!

Here's a random picture of me because we all know you didn't get here from facebook and because I've been so absent from blogging (if it helps this has 6x more content than a diary I once had), you've clearly forgotten me!

So when I decided to stay in Lyon, France for spring break, I thought to myself, Great...I'm going to be so bored...no, boredom is an exaggeration, in fact, boredom is going to eat away my soul and whatever that is is going to be the state that I'd be in for spring break. However, after the first day -which didn't really even feel like a vacation since three days of the week I don't have class- it was great. I watched Spa

rtacus: Blood and Sand.. and I swear to the gods, that is the greatest show in the entire galaxy even! I mean, look at these cool gifs. Now, I'm not saying that Starz pays me for mentioning how awesome season 1 of Spartacus: Blood and Sand is with the late Andy Whitfield, but it is. And, why did it take me so long to watch season 1? Well, because of Game of Thrones, The Borgias, True Blood, practically every other Mature television program on air, that's what. Plus, I saw season 2: Gods of the Arena before B&S. Now, For those who can handle gore (because the scenes are pretty intense) and the extreme vulgarity (JC!), I suggest watching Gods of the Arena (season 2) before season 1, since season 2 is a prequel... okay back to my break.

So as I was imagining myself totally being able to watch hot men fight to the death without actually doing anything for the House of Batiatus, I got into Iron Chef mode. I had a dream that I was grocery shopping -riveting- and when I woke up, I immediately walked carefully down my 5 flights of stairs to the nearest French Safeway aka Monoprix. Armed with an arsenal of eggs, cheese, fromage blanc, sugar, chocolate, chicken, and other ingredients of a poor man's buffet, I set out to first make nachos. These nachos were amazing. Why, because the woman I live with has finally gotten a shredder and so now I can make my own ground chicken -finally protein! The tortilla chips didn't taste like the Mission ones I so dearly loved, but had they been from that brand, I probably would've paid like my soul in euros rather than a 5 euro note. Whatever anyone says, fromage blanc/crème fraiche épaisse is not the same thing as sour cream. So yes, that meal was a success, even if I couldn't get some other ingredients that would normally accompany the tower of nachos I normally make -mainly mexican rice. But my biggest goal was yet to come.

When one thinks of cupcakes, one thinks first of deliciousness, and then of me. Everyone and their mother knows how much I love cupcakes. If cupcakes were running for president (they come in a dozen) they'd get my vote! :/ Cupcakes doesn't believe in war, nor right or left wing politics, its only mission in life is to satisfy the people. Anywho, my goal was to make this frosting for the cupcakes (courtesy of some chick name Lily):

1 cup sugar

1/3 cup water

6 egg yolks, lightly beaten

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups butter, softened

6 tablespoons confectioners' sugar

In a heavy saucepan, bring sugar and water to a boil; cook over medium-high heat until sugar is dissolved. Remove from the heat.

Add a small amount of hot mixture to egg yolks; return all to the pan, stirring constantly. Cook 2 minutes longer or until mixture thickens, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat; stir in vanilla. Cool to room temperature.

In a mixing bowl with the whisk attachment, cream butter until fluffy, about 5 minutes. Gradually beat in cooked sugar mixture. Beat in confectioners' sugar until fluffy, about 5 minutes.

As the cupcake batter was baking, I thought, "I got this, I can do all these steps by myself without an electric mixture. Psht, who needs American measuring utensils. I know the metric system." If anyone tries this dangerous recipe and succeeds, give me your identity so I know what it's like to be you...even for a fleeting moment. Perhaps if I had more than two hands, it would've been better. But whatevs. A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do...and what I did was eff things up! =/ First off, as you stir, it's nearly impossible for those devious little egg yolks to not coagulate and form scrambled eggs. Now, I thought, hmmm... this looks like eggs...and I need it to be smooth before adding various other ingredients..I'll add water! hahah chemistry is awesome. :/ The water merely made them look less like scrambled eggs and more like grits.

(your welcome turkeys).

Anyways, so I already had tons of butter in a bowl and some sugar, so I was like

and then I was like...hmm butter and sugar, I dont think anyone -including myself- will be able to eat this. And then I saw mr. vanilla extract, and added tons of that, and then... I was like...not enough! I want this to be over 9000! :/ So I found some oreo cookies, soaked them in milk, smashed them, and with cream cheese made oreo creamcheese frosting..

What I wanted them to look like your face if you saw mine:

Let's hope the taste is better than the presentation.

I shall be giving them to unsuspecting friends and homeless people tomorrow at a rendezvous, and I'll let you know how that goes in tomorrow's blog (I feel bad about having a blog post every 5 millenia)! Till then, stay tuned...oh and dance... :O because I said so.